South Australian Democrat Sandra Kanck’s proposal to give returned diggers ecstasy has been roundly condemned. And in the same week their last Senator was tipped out of the Federal Parliament – how insensitive.
In my opinion, this proposal, by the sole surviving Democrat parliamentarian in the country, doesn’t go far enough. Why should only shell-shocked war veterans get the benefits of cool drugs?
Shouldn’t council workers get to drop a bit of speed? And couldn’t Morris Iemma do with some too? Seeing him animated would be a nice break from his current “stoned basset hound” look.
Couldn’t Kevin Rudd do with a bit of heroin, just to slow him down a bit? And parking officers could do with a shot too – and there’d be no need to measure out the dose too carefully.
Uptight Bronwyn Bishop could do with a few puffs on a doobie, firstly because it might chill her out a bit, but secondly just because it would be fun to watch.
And what about people with boring jobs like accountants and lawyers? I’d be surprised if any of them would disagree their ledgers and spreadsheets would be much more compelling after a tab of acid.
Oh and as for valium, well I know it’s not quite illegal, but it is being dangerously under-prescribed. Belinda Neal could do with a half-bottle and Wilson “Ironbar” Tuckey could do with a valium enema – does it come in liquid form?
And what about cocaine? Peter Costello’s needed a confidence boost for years – a few lines and he’d challenging everyone’s leadership. And while we’re at it can someone pass ACCC chief Graeme Samuels the crack pipe? He needs some more ticker to stand up to corporate crooks – who cares if it’s artificial?
And while the eccy’s are flowing, maybe a few could go to those who don’t seem to have any love for anyone – CEOs, investment bankers and foreign exchange dealers. Who knows? One of them might actually get out of their Porsche and talk to a real person. And after a disco biscuit or two the nation’s union leaders could take a flexi-day from being professionally outraged and spend the afternoon chewing the insides of their cheeks out.
Of course, like me, everyone has lined up to bag poor Sandra. But her proposal makes a lot of sense.
As she rightly points out, traumatised war vets are already dosed up on addictive and dangerous drugs like morphine for pain relief and bezodiazepines for post traumatic stress disorder – so what’s the difference? In fact in the 60s, before being banned, ecstasy (MDMA) was used in relationship counselling and is currently used in America for veterans and in Spain on rape victims.
Good on her for having the courage to depart form the cynical political script when it comes to drug policy.
In fact someone hand that woman a rolled up $100 note – she’s earned it.
