It must be sad to be Piers Akerman. And I’m not just talking about his dinkus.*
I mean it must be sad to be him.
Imagine what it’s like when none of your Tory mates are in power. Suddenly there’s no-one to do your research for you.
After years of neo-fascist propaganda being delivered straight to your inbox from the bilge pumps of the Howard Government to be barely digested before being spewed out into your hate-filled septic slick of a weekly column you have to do some research.
Actually that’s probably not fair. Perhaps having your side of politics without the bother or running the country gives them a lot more time to dig up dirt on their opponents.
Introducing today’s column from Aker-dacker. And dirt there is.
But before it’s time to fling some mud at Rudd, you’ve got to devote at least a few sentences finding him guilty of causing the world economic crisis.
Such a massive job should only take a few.
That’s right, after years of Howard and Bush et al controlling the world economy (and bloody well according to Akers) it turns out it was Rudd who buggered it.
The big man tells us it was Rudd’s sympathisers in the US Congress (The Evil Democrats) who brought in a law years ago that made it easier to give home loans to poor people. Which is why we’re in the mess we’re in.
Of course, exponentially rising executive salaries, a $1 billion a day war in Iraq, destruction of corporate regulation, spiralling credit card debt, and a banking system based on pure destructive greed having nothing to do with it.
It was a few loans to poor people. Oh and guess who was behind that, albeit through some convenient American proxies? That’s right - Big Kev.
So having proven that successfully, Akers still has time to smear the PM.
First he tells us he bought his house on the cheap in some dodgy deal. Then he tells us a “Liberal Party investigation” of Rudd’s finances found he… shock horror… paid some stamp duty late.
Oh then why not repeat some old accusations that Rudd’s wife had underpaid some employees? And fail to mention then were back paid?
But I bet it’s not just sad for us. I bet it’s sad for him as well.
*For those of you who think I’ve gone for an unsubtle penis gag, a dinkus is the little photo next to a writer’s by-line. It was a subtle penis joke.
