Every week the team here at LIVENEWS.com.au approve a lot of comments. Most of them are informed, concise, and cogent. But sometimes well… sometimes people just want to be funny.
As Peter Gallagher was when he chose to leave his mark on our story about how a survey had found Aussies were bored with climate change.
“I was really worried about the financial situation until I found out that the seas are dying. Then I learnt about the frogs, and was recently updated about the bees and then told about the mammal extinction. Then it got worse. I found out that I am a mammal. I decided to comfort eat a steak dinner and was told about the cows. I somehow felt dirty and decided to have a shower. But then I was told about the water and felt too guilty. I feel slightly better knowing we are all doomed.”
OK, so there’s funny. But as we all know much funnier than funny is loopy. Introducing the Bob Phillips appreciation society. Bob is developing quite a following here assisted by his comments on a piece we published about Barack Obama.
“Do Americans really want a TERRORIST as their leader? For those who may not know, this insurgent in Christian's clothing once let slip that he had "visited all 57 states" as part of his campaign. Guess what? There are only 57 nations in the world that are recognized by followers of Islam. TALK ABOUT LETTING HIS TRUE COLOURS SHOW! This son of a MUSLIM father and ATHEIST mother, this bastard who was first sworn into the Senate with his hand on the KORAN, this unAmerican traitor who DOES NOT EVEN PUT HIS HAND ON HIS HEART when his country’s anthem is playing, this Mr OBAMA BIN LADEN, will bring about the downfall of our glorious Christian Western society if people are stupid enough to give him half a chance! DO NOT FALL FOR HIS LIES, AMERICA!!!”
Not that Germany should think they got off lightly. They too will get the Phillips treatment when their finance minister dared to suggest that US financial hegemony may be coming to an end.
“HAHAHAHA thanks for that Germany, I needed a good laugh! Do you Eurotrash pissants honestly believe that God is on YOUR side? Puh-lease! Face it, you could never hope to compete with the glory that is the United States of America - the only nation in the world that is even better than Australia! Rule of thumb for me: If it's not America, Australia or Britain, then it's not a country I care about or want anything to do with! Long may America reign as the divinely appointed superpower of the world, forever and ever, amen! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!”
And when it comes to Hitler according to Bob… well he wasn’t so bad.
“Let me tell you something moron - I have NO INTEREST in trying to "co-exist" with these people - I do not want them in my beautiful country, PERIOD! And as for Hitler... okay, he had to be stopped because he was a threat to the United States of America, but that doesn't mean I can't agree with most of his beliefs! Segregation is the ONLY true way to preserve our glorious heritage! So keep being a pathetic mindless leftie - us patriotic REAL Australians are going to get out there and TAKE BACK WHAT'S OURS! P.S. I think you should eat a cyanide pill!”
But then when Bob’s finished it really does get interesting. Our story on childhood obesity prompted this well thought out response.
“i'M A HIGH SHOOL STUDEN MY TOTAL GRADE IS 4 POINT O I LIKE TO STUDI SINCE Y WANT TO BECAME A DOCTOR, BUT UNFORTUANALY IM OVER WEITH AND IM ONLY 16 YEARS OLD THE SHCOOL GIVE TO MUCH WORK AND WHEN WE GET TO GO HOME WE HAVE TO QUIPE WORKING WITH OUR ASSIGMENT SOMETIMES IT TAKES ALL NIGTH. sO i CANT EXERCICES AT ALL OR HAVE TIME TO SIT AND RELAX SO WE HAVE TO DICIDE WE DO ORU WORK OR GO EXERCICE 1 HOUR AND RELAX OUR SELF OR FAILD SCHOOL SO WE COULD DO THAT IF SCHOOL BE MORE FLEXIBE WE COULD HAVE TIM”
And while we’re proving kids and keyboards don’t mix how about this very belated response to an article we published a few months ago about a Big Brother contestant who was blackmailed on the show.
“OMG guys dont you think shes had enough insults and stuff so just lyk dye down on the crap i dont wanna be mean to anyone lol i loved brigitte and even though some of the things she said were mean lyk he comment about 'the rangas' but all i wanna say is that some of the other stuff was funny, half of you peoples are probs old people anyway so you would not know what its lyk to be smaart and stuff these days it is actual really hard unlike some of you may think.... anyway bye bye bring back bb!!!”
And finally we got into some real trouble for our pathetic knowledge of obscure teen sub cultures and the thirty-year-olds who make money off them when we described a band as “heavy metal”.
“theyre not a heavy metal band. theyre a hardcore band. they dont deserve to be classified as heavy metal and no-one classifies them as being so. do your research.”
Ouch.
